Tea or Books? #86: Empathy vs Sympathy and The Child That Books Built vs When I Was A Child I Read Books

Marilynne Robinson, Francis Spufford, empathy and sympathy!

Welcome to episode 86, in which we talk about characters we feel empathetic towards and those we feel sympathetic towards. And if you aren’t sure of the distinction, don’t worry, we’ve got that covered too.

In the second half, we compare two books with similar titles but very different contents: When I Was a Child I Read Books by Marilynne Robinson and The Child That Books Built by Francis Spufford.

Do get in touch if you have any suggestions for topics or a question for the middle bit – we’re at teaorbooks[at]gmail.com. Find us in your podcast app of choice, on Spotify, or on Apple Podcasts. And you can support us on Patreon, where there are also bonus ten-minute episodes from me.

The books and authors we mention in this episode are:

The Game by A.S. Byatt
Possession by A.S. Byatt
The Matisse Stories by A.S. Byatt
The Children’s Book by A.S. Byatt
The Vanishing Act by Adrian Alington
Dorothy L Sayers
Agatha Christie
Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.M. Delafield
Mr Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood
Goodbye To Berlin by Christopher Isherwood
Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh
Henry James
Prater Violet by Christopher Isherwood
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Emma by Jane Austen
Ian McEwan
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Dr Thorne by Anthony Trollope
The Warden by Anthony Trollope
Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope
The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Lady Susan by Jane Austen
Ivy Compton-Burnett
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
Biggles series by W.E. Johns
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
Any Human Heart by William Boyd
The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel
The Way We Live Now by Meg Rosoff
My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier
Wish Her Safe at Home by Stephen Benatar
The Secret History by Donna Tartt
The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak
The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald
White Cargo by Felicity Kendal
William Shakespeare
The Town in Bloom by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Love by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Astonishment by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Mixed Feelings by Dodie Smith
Opening Night by Ngaio Marsh
Wise Children by Angela Carter
Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
Lover’s Vows by Elizabeth Inchbald
Sea Change by Elizabeth Jane Howard
At Freddie’s by Penelope Fitzgerald
Molly Fox’s Birthday by Deirdre Madden
Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
Famous Five series by Enid Blyton
Bookworm by Lucy Mangan
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Little House on the Prarie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Golden Hill by Francis Spufford
Crossriggs by Jane and Mary Findlater
Emma by Jane Austen

A reading catch-up

As usual, I’ve fallen behind a bit with the books I’ve been intending to review – and so, partly for A Century of Books, partly just to mention some others, here are some books that I’ve read in the past few months, in brief.

Girl with Dove (2018) by Sally Bayley

Sally Bayley was my DPhil supervisor and we’ve kept in touch since, now and then, so I was certainly intrigued to read her childhood memoir (and thank you for the review copy). The subtitle, ‘A life built by books’, was also calculated to intrigue me. It tells of Sally’s fraught upbringing – as the bio says, she put herself into care at 14 – and does so with the confusion and melding of worlds that a child would face. So the characters in the books she loves (Agatha Christie, Jane Eyre etc.) elide with the real relatives and figures in her life. The whole book is a touching maelstrom, completely unlike traditional memoirs. You might end not really knowing a huge amount of facts, but you’ll certainly understand how it all felt.

Golden Hill (2016) by Francis Spufford

I didn’t think I’d like this book for book group, and I was right. It’s set in 18th-century New York, as the main character turns up with a cheque to cash for a large sum of money. On it wanders, with his various exploits, in a sort of half-18th-century-half-not tone that I found frustrating. And, frankly, I found the whole thing quite dull and a little confusing. I’d rather just read a book from the 18th century.

Leadon Hill (1927) by Richmal Crompton

I know a few Crompton fans say this is their favourite of her books, and the last few of hers I’d read had been a bit sub-par. This one is about (of course) a small village – and the ways their worlds change when an exotic and bohemian Italian woman starts renting one of the cottages. I don’t think I was quite in the right mood to read Crompton when I did, and this isn’t among my favourites, but I have read 28 of her novels now, so perhaps it’s just a question of a surfeit? Bless her, she doesn’t vary her canvas much.

When Heaven Is Silent (1994) by Ron Dunn

I bought this years ago, and have dipped in and out over time. It’s about living the Christian life through times of difficulties – written largely because of Dunn’s experience of losing his son to suicide. Nothing close to that dreadful has happened in my life, so I read it more out of interest than for personal help – but I think I’d return to it if I needed that help for any reason, because Dunn writes well, sensitively, and with a great knowledge of the Bible and of God’s nature.

Family Man (1998) by Calvin Trillin

I read this on holiday earlier in the year, and really enjoyed it, but had almost forgotten it by the time I got to the last page. It’s a collection of essays about his family over the years – and a little on how he feels about mentioning his children, as they get older. It’s all fairly incidental, and it’s only Trillin’s wonderfully engaging and warm tone that made it such an enjoyable (if forgettable) book.